1,2 before bed

keep death in mind and close
looking at trees and sunlight on water drops
wet air deep
parks and play
moments

work with hands
outside
sweat and breathe heavy
push
build things
work on land

line
greenonwhite
tiles
noise on rocks
bit nails
pulling between and splitting apart
birth of a never
ending with a.

2

moon tonight was hiding but i was whispered its grandeur
calm for a chase i rode with tea and pursued the pearl with curious sips
and holy blues
(the side note for the evening which must be dealt with - the ancient arrow, the bare bones of music, heard more and more as the blues begins to peel away into my marrow and i can hear it u-shaped on a couch, pure from love, being delivered the soul of robert johnson. the rhythm, the simple complexity. the more you hear the more you feel. the more it is you. like haikus, imprisoned in form, but scraping the greatest depths.)
rattling and cool air licking my face.
moon holding a secret light spraying the sky
giggling around the curtains.
i turn my head to see but no.
i choose to chase the moon tonight so i swerve sideways up a great hill, inhaling the monstrous mountains that outline the majestic evening with a jagged greatness that gives me an odd feeling of a fairytale which then pushes me down a rabit-hole of connected thoughts which leads me to now which happens often which is basically the strangeness of all the days and nights and the twists and characters and plots and terrors and creatures (as i pass by two bunnies moving their tiny noses on the side of the road, ears straight up in all seriousness)and i wonder at the hiding moon and applaud its great act for the evening, thinking i might catch the laughing face some other night if it tempts me a bit more, but tonight was only a small tease in a city of jokes and the chase is always on just like nothing hides forever and we still run everywhere after something, despite the loveliness of standing still, which we sometimes do too

whenever

bad writing
no things
fuck
weak hands
heavy strings
buzzing chords
ringing
for no one
temptation songs
trip soon
where to, why to, who to,
play songs, how long
will it take
me away
i want a something
never knows
coffee smells
white beach
where's my music
where's my throat
whenever wherever is gone
you have here

101nirvana

when i saw you in the car
with a hot 101 sun and we hadn't showered since yesterday morning
the cigarette and the thick pot smoke tangled up in our skulls
with your sunglasses and cobain singing dumb
and then heavy
5 years younger and there you are
but now and iloveyou
but you change
and i question the line
between me now
and me
when your mind was infected with nirvana
and where we dangled
and collided
and where i've gone and where you are
and who you are
and how i know
and what i don't.

let's talk about ourselves
let's be afraid together
let's get pissed off and yell like i tell you i hate your politics and then we laugh and smoke and get sushi and complain about capitalism
let's see things and do
i want to break through something without a barrier
i want you to be there
i dont' understand the world of connections but strange things happen to us
that must mean something
in all this craziness
you are here
like the twirl of a rose when raindrops burst from the petals
a

sorry worker

you were an ass and i tried to give you love
you tried to get things your way but i had other things to do in other ways
then you got mad and sad
you sorry worker
i'm like you sometimes
and maybe that's why i find you
out of happiness and pissed
i try to fight it
but out of my mouth sometimes can only come a giant

fuck you

and i feel much better













(my position is strange. my age is strange. i call certain shots, but i don't want anyone shot. at the end of the night i'll have a shot. when people get happy it can get thrown at me. when people get angry it always gets thrown at me. but sometimes people won't say it. i watch them. i feel it brewing. i want to grab them by the shirt and tell them to fuck off. that it isnt about them. but then again. it's about someone. always someone has it. this is where we are. in the money machine, in the system, and you can't be a great benevolent manager. you can do your best but you're gonna piss people off sometimes. you're gonna make them hate you. but i can live with that. i find it hard sometimes because i want people to like me, but that's just some weirdness in me that wants people to be happy. maybe trying to avoid conflict, to avoid anger, to keep things cool, to keep things in control...but who knows? i do know now, i really KNOW, that you're always going to piss people off. and some people are just bastards. but they're all just going through their own shit. but maybe they can suck it up and have some respect. and blah blahblah)

glucx

get out, go away
pack on your face
buffoons and snakes
say anything
fuck off

i'm clawing into my skin
i'm whispering into my hair
give me a pill and some smoke
where are hopes grown
fuck off, go away

you don't own this
you're soap on my ass
my grapefruit in the morning
my naked body and my fears
my tea when i'm cold
my scotch after work


i built a stone
hate me
loveme
something to say fuck you
leave my space

travel to find a home

wondering in wandering

absolute shit poetry
because i think i need to write
but those people that need
a fuck you